Being engaged and being engaged-to-be-married are two totally different things. When Tim and I first got engaged I felt elated, warm, fuzzy and way up high (on my engagement cloud – ain’t nobody gonna bring me down!). We weren’t thinking about the logistics of planning a wedding, just how we were so happy about the jump we took over the Pond of Next Steps in our relationship. I think I could have stayed engaged forever, but that’s not why Tim proposed, now, is it?
We got engaged because we want to be married – none of this waiting business – and I am so curious and excited to do just that. The whole idea of planning a wedding has never been important to me like it is to a lot of other people, which makes this season a bit tough. I just want to be married to my best friend – do I have to go through the wedding day? Will it really be the most special day of my life? Why does everyone have to look at me the whole time?
Yet, as we quickly found out, planning your wedding at least one year in advance is the thing to do these days. We chose a date about a month after getting engaged and, since then, we became part of some, like, club. So many automated/emailed congratulations and so many price/package options were sent our way (whaddup joint Gmail account). For someone who’s never really cared about their wedding day (and who sucks with making decisions at Starbucks, let alone for this kind of stuff), it was all a tad overwhelming.
Now, I’m not saying that being engaged-to-be-married isn’t amazing. It really is! It’s a different kind of amazing than first being engaged. Before, I was in a dreamland where all I did was daydream and it was easy and fun. Now, I’m making mature, real-life decisions and paying for things and writing contracts in stone but I know that I have a date that will secure Tim and me hanging out together forever. Which is pretty cool and hasn’t really sunk in yet.
That leads me to my next point – the idea of everything sinking in. So far, Tim and I have checked a lot off our major to-do list: set the date, booked the ceremony and reception venue, photographer and DJ. We’ve made save the dates (with the most creative idea I’ve ever had. It just might make me Pinterest-famous) even though I was originally 100 per cent against them (why do you need two sets of invitations?!) and I have even told most of my side of our wedding party that, well, they’re in our wedding party.
^ Hannah and me after the sneakiest trick ever. ^
My beautiful friend Hannah is my maid of honour and I could not be more elated about it. She’s one of those people who I don’t know how I went through life without – I need her! I told her in a really (self-proclaimed) sneaky way and I was really nervous but (thankfully!) she said yes.
My bridesmaid is my equally-stunning friend, Sam. I told her in a way that was much more spontaneous but it was so perfect – she really is one of the most incredible people I’ll ever meet. No picture because of the randomness of it all but that’s kind of cool to me.
Both womenlies have been over-the-moon wonderful and loving to me since we all bonded over this… It’s one of the most genuinely thankful times I’ve ever gone through. And I feel we’re all just in the beginning stages of our friendship stories so this is a pretty cool early-on event to bond over in years to come. Yay for friendship and females who I love.
^ I went to try on dresses one afternoon with my mom and Hannah. So many dresses. Lots and lots of dresses. ^
But back to things sinking in… Yes, we have gone through our checklist, but how does that make us more prepared for lasting through our wedding day? Or the apparent intensity that is marriage? Well, here’s the secret to it all: People. Community. Sharing the struggles and worries and highlights and questions and daydreams with people who make you feel loved and important. I am so thankful that I have people who are genuinely happy for Tim and me and their input has made everything so much more real and exciting. I look forward to our wedding day because of the people we’ll get to celebrate with. It won’t matter what our colours are, which flowers we have or how over- or under-cooked the food is. I just need the support and love from those that I feel the same way for.
Tim and I need people now more than we’ve ever needed them before and we’re blessed that we have been provided that necessity. And that is where we’re at right now.